07.18.2025

I haven't had that spark of pure joy in a while - perhaps I have but I have been in my pore pessimistic mindset. I reached out to an old high school pal, we'll call him Pong. A little back story on Pong, he's that person you remember fondly from high school - an unexpected friend who you still think of from time to time & always wish their getting everything they could have hoped for. We used to go to our friend Rone's house on weekends and play ping pong and those were one of the moments I remember really feeling like a kid in high school. The moments where you're just authentically yourself and you're not worried that you'll be in trouble for being who you really are. 

When I think back, those moments feel far and few between but maybe that's because for now those moments are being tainted by other ones I have feared to look through in a long time. That's where the idea of this blog came from, my hand cramps when I write even though I dream to be a hand-writing journaling baddie, but this feels more smooth and my fingers can somewhat keep up with the pace of my thoughts. 

Back to reach out to Pong - a recent post sparked my curiosity and I wondered if him and his partner had broken up. You know when you just catch that vibe. Being the nosey shit I am & just knowing the type of genuine person Pong is I shot him a message to check in and see if my suspicions were correct. Before I did this I had to consult Rone, I wondered if she knew anything for sure because of course I am just a girl but she wasn't aware of anything. 

Rone and my brief facetime chat sparked a heart-warming - Rone is that friend that makes your inner child jump for joy and it feels like my heart shines when I am around her. Therefore this is very important manifestation we need to work on: Summer of 2026 I will be in California, spending R's and my birthdays together in California with Fran & Chanel.

My heart sings when I am around these girls & I have longed for that sense of connection again from my people - Pong, Rone, Fran, Chanel - they are all those people that the minute you talk to them again it's like no time has passed.

I feel like I have been in hermit mode for a long time, trying to heal and work on my shit, but I feel strongly that that need for community & connection is on the horizon. I cannot wait to see my people and hear how their lives are going & be apart of their story again. I want to be a consistent side character to these people's lives.